Forgive Me

I did something tonight. Something that I promised myself that I would never do. I became my mother tonight. Let me explain. I grew up in a home that was less than perfect. I promised myself and my husband that I would never, ever, EVER become that person in my home. I kept part of my promise. I didn't do anything to the kids. I did it to Charlie, my dog. An innocent animal that didn't deserve that. He had decided to chew on Heidi's homemade book, a few too many Littlest Pet Shop toys, a Wall-E stuffed animal, and a couple of kids shoes. I know he was just trying to get our attention and play, but I had had it. I spanked him one to many times. I saw the look on his face. It was the same face I remember making whenever my mother was angry at me. It was FEAR. I broke down in tears and locked myself in my bathroom for half an hour. Heidi was (and still is) worried about me, and I don't blame her. I scared my kids because they didn't know what was going on. I broke my promise and I'm sorry. Forgive me.